My ex keeps calling me, and says he wants to try again. The reason why we broke up is because he cheated on me. He says he's sorry and part of me still likes him, but I don't want my heart broken again. What should I do?
- Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Personally, I am not one to give a second chance to someone who deliberately steps out on a relationship, as it is a sign of disrespect and a violation of trust -- enough that I call cheaters grand douchebags. Furthermore, getting back together in a relationship would be a strain. Unless you truly forgive him, there will be a lingering question in the back of your mind if he's doing it again.
However, I admit there are several factors to consider that I'm not aware of based on the letter, and it depends on the circumstances behind the infidelity. Did the affair go on for an extended period of time (compared to only one time)? Is the other woman an important person in his life (compared to a random woman he recently met)? Did he cheat before in the past with you, or another woman? Does this seem like a contrived plot to get back to you (compared to being a sincere apology)?
If the answer to any of those questions is yes, I recommend keeping your distance and not to answer his calls.
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Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteListen, being that I have been in your situation, I will tell you this: There are more fish in the sea. I am a strong believer in "if you give them an inch, they will take a mile." Has he made any attempt to prove he is sorry? And, like Noble said, is he a repeat offender? I have said this once before.... If you're going to take him back, you will have to forgive him completely and never bring it up again. If you're strong enough to do that, then more power to you. Otherwise, bounce on his cheating ass and get back out there on the boat of love. And, don't forget your rod!
My Two Cents:
ReplyDeleteRelationships are more about trust than about anything else. You know what he did and you are still considering getting back together so that says alot about how strong your feelings are about him. However, cheating is like betrayal and I dont think that is something you can ever really recover from. I do believe it is possible that he wont cheat again, but the truth is, you are always going to have doubts about him every time he works late or is out with the boys or whatever.
My advice, answer his call and try to reconcile a friendship because you care that much about him, but I wouldn't let him back into your heart. Make the rules clear of what is off limits. If he is really sorry, he will accept what you are prepared to offer. If he can't accept being in your life on your terms then you know what you have to do.